I thought a lot about heroes yesterday. After I finished my post on types I realized the guy I’m really seeking - my “type” - is basically a hero.

It’s not too much to ask for, is it? After all, he doesn’t have to be a hero to everyone - just to me!

Anyways, this got me to thinking - what exactly defines a hero?

According to Peter Parker’s aunt May, heroes are:

Courageous, self-sacrificing people. Setting examples for all of us.

Everybody loves a hero. People line up for them, cheer them, scream their names. And years later, they’ll tell how they stood in the rain for hours just to get a glimpse of the one who taught them how to hold on a second longer.

I believe there’s a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady, and give up the thing we want the most.

Even our dreams.

What I find interesting in Aunt May’s description is how closely, on a superficial level, a hero resembles a celebrity.

If you think about it, people line up, cheer, and scream Britney Spears’ name as often as they do the Pope’s.

Granted even though heroes can be celebrities, and celebrities can be heroes, there is a significant difference between the two. They are not one in the same.

But I think too often too many people blur the solid line that divides them.

Why is this?

Well, I think it has a lot to do with the one thing that bonds all humans together as a species - the one thing that provides a clear distinction from us and all other life - the ability and the need to justify our actions.

And this gets back to the key difference between heroes and celebrities - while heroes help build within us a core internal strength, celebrities provide us with easy justifications that help to superficially reinforce beliefs that really need to be challenged.

Yes, heroes do set examples for all of us - but their examples inspire us to be better. To be who we are regardless of it meaning we take the road less traveled. To help others even if it means sacrificing ourselves. To not be afraid when everything and everyone is telling us that we should. They are a strength to fall back on - a rock - but they are never a scapegoat or an excuse.

The same is not true for a celebrity. While celebrities may set examples, they are meant to provide comfort - a laugh or a cry when we need it - or provide us with artistic inspiration - new designs, fashions and styles - or even provide us with new ideas and insights - sharing how they deal with life, love, stress and struggle.

So, what is the implication of this difference?

Well, say you have a hideous outfit in your closet - but you love it. Wearing it may mean social suicide but again, you love it.

A hero affects that part of you which gives you the courage to take the outfit out of the closet, off the hanger and on the town. A hero doesn’t give you an excuse to wear it rather they give you the strength to wear it - and with pride.

A celebrity justifies your desire to wear it. Sure the outfit may be hideous but Mary Kate and Ashley wore something similar to the Oscars. If you get called out for wearing your new favorite outfit it’s easy to fall back on Mary Kate and Ashley and shift the judgement from you to them. Sure, the outfit is an expression of who you are, but instead of giving you the means to express that thought a celebrity provides you a superficial protection from your critics.

Of course, this goes way beyond fashion.

Say you find out you have cancer. A hero, like Lance Armstrong, may inspire you to fight harder. He doesn’t give you any excuses but rather helps you find the strength within yourself to fight. On the other hand a celebrity, say like Tom Cruise, provides a sort of protection for you when you try to explain why you are, say, seeking alternative and not traditional methods of medicine to get better.

You may be scared shitless knowing you have cancer but also have an irrational fear of losing your hair from chemotherapy. You know people won’t understand this irrational fear - even you don’t - but instead of addressing it you seek out those who won’t challenge your fears. And Tom Cruise provides you the avenue you’re looking for. The one which gives you false hope by belaying your fears and reinforcing your beliefs.

“You think I’m crazy for using prayer to cure my cancer? Well, Tom Cruise says he’s seen it work. And so did that doctor who is always on TV…”

In the end, instead of confronting your fears you end up losing more than your hair - you lose your life.

Being a hero is hard work. Following the examples left by heroes is just as hard. Therefore it’s much easier to just find someone out there who will agree with us - who will help justify our actions - than it is to challenge our beliefs and face our fears, to make us uncomfortable, and to cause us to grow. And therefore, more people are willing to listen to and follow what Jennifer Anniston has to say than their local leaders, their president, or even themselves.

Thinking about that gives me a heavy heart.

As for myself, I do have a hero. My hero has always been, and will always be, Superman. Endowed with the abilities to easily conquer the world he chooses to use his gifts for the good of mankind - to help, not hurt. He hides his true identity so that the people he loves will not be in danger. By doing so he sacrifices his own happiness on a daily basis. He fights for what he believes to be right.

Yes, he lies to keep his identity secret - and he justifies that action - but he justifies it within himself and doesn’t rely on others. His justification is that he lies to protect, not because Batman thinks its cool. That’s respectable.

My hero is a fictional character - I know this - but I’m working on finding a flesh and blood candidate. Part of my journey across the country will be to find people who are real life heroes. Everyday people who work to better the world around them. I am optimistic I will find them.

And I’m curious to know who your heroes are. They don’t have to be well known - but I’d like to hear about them.

So…who are your heroes?