Maybe I shouldn’t be writing this.

It’s past 2am on a Thursday night and…well…I’m a few sheets to the wind at this point.

But I have an incredible urge to write right now.

I am dealing with so much. I am feeling so much.

So much.

And it’s stressful and wonderful and hard and fun and heart wrenching and scary and life changing and makes sense one minute and makes no sense the next.

I keep thinking to myslef - what are you doing? Why are you doing it? What is the meaning of it all? What purpose are you serving?

Well, I don’t have all the answers. And maybe that’s the point. I don’t know what I am doing but I am trying my hardest to figure it out. I am trying my hardest to make sense of it all.

I am trying.

I don’t understand love. And I don’t understand pain. How can love be so wonderful one minute and hurt so much the next?

I feel love in my heart. I want love. But I’m tired of amplifying a tepid representation of something close to love to the level of what I need love to mean for me.

I am trying to understand what it is I want - what I need.

And I keep thinking, what ever happened to the idea of completely giving yourself to someone…putting all your trust in them…believing in them and never doubting their faith and love in you…being there for them no matter what…telling them how you feel without fear…

And I don’t understand fear. Why is everyone so afraid? No one is perfect. No one is omni-confident. No one is safe. Why can’t we all admit our faults to each other and spend out time making them strengths instead of running from them?

And I don’t understand running. Why does everyone run away? Why aren’t we facing our problems - looking at them straight in the eyes - dealing with them - and moving on. Why do we skirt issues - or deal with them topically - instead of addressing them? Why don’t we spend more time looking towards the roots - looking towards the heart of the problem?

And some things just don’t make logical sense - you can only feel them in your heart. And with every heart beat - and every breath - you feel one way while with every thought - and every memory - you feel another. Which one can you live with? Which one is right?

And why does it seem like Rob Thomas is the only one who I can relate to right now. How is it that at this moment he - or his music - can just speak to me in ways that no one could?

“Just let me hold you while you’re falling apart
Just let me hold you and we’ll both fall down

Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same

Call on me
I’ll be there for you and you’ll be there for me
Forever it’s you
Forever in me
Ever the same”

In any event, this prevented me from crying. Why am I telling the world this? Because I’m not afraid of being perceived as weak. I’m human. I’m Justin. And I’m not perfect.

And this site will not be perfect. But it will be me.

It’s funny - I keep getting asked, what exactly are you doing with this whole thing? - with your business? - with your site?

Well, here is the simple answer: I am going on a journey - and I’m taking you with me.

Just don’t expect it to always make sense. Or be neat. Or politically correct.

I want you to ask questions. Give me your reactions. Help me make sense of it all. Help me see things differently. Help me understand your point of view. Help me grow.

“I’ll be there for you and you’ll be there for me.”

OK - tiem for bed. Good night world……