From the moment I woke up on Friday morning, the day of Drew’s birth, I knew we were all getting in trouble. I mean, we’re in South Beach and we’re a rowdy bunch. This was going to be a fun day.

First things first - we all get ready and head to the beach. Conveniently, it was across the street. It’s amazing the weird things you see in Miami. One time I was sitting at News Cafe at 9am and I saw people cross country sand skiing. It was an excercise craze here for a while. We had the pleasure of seeing some lady wrapped up in plastic. I have no idea what she was doing.

After a few minutes on the beach we all headed to Drew’s birthday brunch at Pelican Cafe. This is where it all began. Raspberry mimosas and spicy bloody marys. I had a bloody and I HATE bloodys. But it was the first drink of the day so it would soon get lost in a sea of other drinks.

One of the great things about Miami is that they have all the froo-froo drinks that many places around DC don’t. For example, espresso martinis - my favorite! A lot of places prepare these things differently - some use half and half and some pure alcohol - but Shauna and I were both VERY happy with Pelican’s version. YUM.

We started brunch around noon and since Drew’s birth time was 2:19pm we were assured to be there and toast him until then. We ended up probably having about two or three drinks each with brunch. It was drizzly/rainy but we didn’t care - we were feeling good!! After brunch we headed down Ocean Drive to do a little sightseeing and then headed to Lincoln Road to do some shopping. Of course, being a bunch of buzzed/drunk fools we took FOREVER to get there.

And as promised, I photoshopped Stephanie on the Versace steps. It was wet and she wasn’t drunk enough to actually lay down on the ground. HAHAHA

Like I said, it took us a while to get to Lincoln. It was SO worth it. You have to check out the pics (CLICK HERE) to get a full appreciation. We investigated “Cooter Rentals“, Shauna found a shirt that epitomized her “lifestyle choice“, and we found a “sophisticated” coot. So much fun.

FINALLY, we made it to Lincoln Road. I had to pee so bad it made me smile to hear people wanted to grab another drink. Grabbing another drink meant getting to use a bathroom. Score!

We all stopped at Cafeteria and stayed there much longer than we expected to. Like three drinks long! haha It was an amazing place to people watch and just relax. I was learning how great this group of people were - we all totally clicked and had an amazing time.

After a bit more shopping we all headed back to the hotel in order to take a shower and change. I was dragging ass like you wouldn’t even believe. We all kinda were. I had a double shot of espresso and a bunch of people were having red bull and vodka at the hotel bar before we left for dinner. I didn’t know how we were going to make the night possible - I was about to pass out from utter exhaustion.

From the hotel bar, dressed like Miami party animals, we headed out to dinner. We ended up eating at Bongos Cuban Cafe at Larios - Gloria Estefan’s restaurant. I don’t have the pics from dinner yet, but I’m working on it. OMG it was amazing. Cuban food - mojitos - and life size portraits of Gloria EVERYWHERE. We all got to chit-chat before dinner and just as our food was delivered the live cuban band struck up. We were all be-bopping during dinner.

At some point during the dinner, Drew stopped talking and didn’t look too good. Within an hour he was dropping a $50 on the table and running for the door. It was his birthday and the poor boy ended up “Callin’ Gloria” (as I will forever refer to throwing up after drinking all day and eating Gloria’s food) like 6 times. Of course, in true Drew fashion, he had a few shots in between Glorias. TOO FUNNY.

Drew was down for the count, but his brother Matt and his girlfriend Laura had arrived in Miami just as he left so they ended up joining us at the hotel bar.

Keep in mind, everyone was participating in the scavenger hunt I had put together for Drew’s birthday weekend. There were some NASTY things on that list. I’m glad this group wasn’t shy. For instance, a body shot off a stranger. Shauna, bless her soul, fell into this one. HAHAHA. The bar tender offered and we all started chanting her name and like a champ she got behind the bar and did a shot of the alcohol she finds the most vile…tequilla. I know how much she hates it so watching her do the shot made me gag. LOL. She’s my hero-ine.

Remember what I said about not making it through the night? Right…I ended up going out with a bunch of people - including Drew’s brother Matt who was straight and had never been to a club nevermind a gay club - to Twist on Collins. We were out until after 4am. And it was SKETCHVILLE there after 3am. OMG. Regardless, we had a blast. We met two HOT HOT HOT straight Brazilian guys (working on getting those pics) and I was in love. The straight boys got grabbed and my bum went touched-less. Damn straight boys!

We got pizza and headed to the hotel. The next (actually at that point same) day was Drew’s big dinner. I needed sleep big time…