I’m unemployed…still.
When I go out to lunch there are bugs in my food.
Everyone is either saying to me, “oh I know…it took me 8 months to find a job” or “just hang in there…it will happen.” And while I know they are trying to be supportive I still want to poke my ears out whenever I hear it. And I know they can see that in my face or hear it in my voice right after they say it. Then I feel like an ass.
I’m down - and I feel down - and it’s a very weird feeling for me. I’m hoping some of it is coming from this cold and not an impending chemical imbalance.
All I know is this Scissor Sisters song is the only music making much sense to me at the moment. Especially the lyrics I’ve highlighted below. In an abstract way, if you really think about it, it’s a song that makes you want to dance…with lots of dancing in it…about not wanting to dance.
It fits my mood perfectly - I don’t feel like dancing but when I hear it I remember how much I love to dance and my body starts swaying.
Plus the guys are super hot. 
I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’
Wake up in the morning with a head like ‘what ya done?’
This used to be the life but I don’t need another one.
You like cutting up and carrying on you wear them gowns.
So how come I feel so lonely when you’re up getting down?So I’ll play along when I hear that special song
I’m gonna be the one who gets it right.
You better move when you’re swinging ’round the room
Looks like magic’s only ours tonightBut I don’t feel like dancing
When the old Joanna plays
My heart could take a chance
But my two feet can’t find a way
You’d think that I could muster up a little soft shoe, gentle sway
But I don’t feel like dancin’
No sir, no dancin’ todayDon’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Even if i find nothin’ better to do
Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Why’d you ‘break it down’ when I’m not in the mood
Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
I’d rather be home with the one in the bed till dawn, with you,Cities come and cities go just like the old empires
When all you do is change your clothes and call that versatile.
You got so many colours it’d make a blind man so confused.
So why can’t I keep up when you’re the only thing I’d lose?So I’ll just pretend that I know which way to bend
I’m gonna tell the whole world that you’re mine.
Just please understand, when I see you clap your hands
If you stick around I’m sure that I’ll be fine.But I don’t feel like dancin’
When the old Joanna plays
My heart could take a chance
But my two feet can’t find a way
You think that I could muster up a little soft shoe gentle sway
But I don’t feel like dancin’
No sir, no dancin’ today.Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Even if i find nothin’ better to do
Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Why’d you ‘break it down’ when I’m not in the mood
Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Rather be home with the one in the bed til dawn, with you oo ooYou can’t make me dance around.
But your two-step makes my chest pound.
Just lay me down as you float away into the shimmer lights.But I don’t feel like dancin’
When the old Joanna plays
My heart could take a chance
But my two feet can’t find a way
You’d think that I could muster up a little soft shoe, gentle sway
But I don’t feel like dancin’
No sir, no dancin’ today.Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Even if i find nothin’ better to do
Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
I cant break it down with the man in the moon
Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Rather be home with the one in the bed til dawn, with you.
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Just a hug from afar. You’ll get a good job Justin and this will seem like such a remote thing. My favourite song when I’m feeling down is “Stuck in a Moment” by U2. The guys aren’t hot, but the song has made me choke up more than once with how true it is.
Thanks Todd
I can’t tell you how much I looking forward to looking back and saying, “yeah…that sucked.”
I appreciate the support buddy.
Justin,
I won’t bore you with a hang in there speech, rather, I’ll just let you know that I have hired lots and lots of folks over the years, and because I work in higher education student affairs I have hired lots of folks your age for their first job after grad school.
I am a very good judge of folks (if I do say so myself:). You and I have never met, but based upon your web site, your writings and they way you have conducted yourself since I have been reading your blog you are a catch Mr. Cole, and the folks who are not hiring you are just damn fools–period.
Best,
c
I for one will NOT tell you to hang in there or it took me 8 months to get a job. Because its complete rubbish. Our country is the ultimate place to create your own reality. It all has to do with your mind set, creativity and hard work what kind of prosperity you have in your life. Why be in servitude to some boss that you will trade 20 + years of your life to for meager wages and a kick in the ass out the door with a little office party when you retire? Start your OWN business, be the captain of your own destiny. You are only limited by your own fears and self doubt. We are so programmed in this country to be a disposable cog in some corporate machine that doesn’t give a damn about our own fulfillment as a whole person. The success of your blog alone proves that you have everything that it takes to start your own business, be a huge success, and make a lot more money then you would working for someone else. Here is a post that I found to be very beneficial for bright people in your situation.
Keep your chin up and that killer smile going!
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/07/10-reasons-you-should-never-get-a-job/
Thanks c.fred - I wish there were people in higher ed like you hiring around here! It seems that so many people take a glance at a resume and go “next, next, next” and then end up getting crappy people with good resumes. Blah! Hopefully the tide will change soon.
Thomas - I do have my own business. And it’s driven my finances into the ground! I tried being a one person machine going out there and putting too much out on the line. It was a gamble and it didn’t pay off in any way except experientially. I’m greatful for the experiences, but annoyed and the debt I now have. I need a steady source of income while I get my feet back on the ground and work back up to where I was before…
But I will keep my smile shining regardless!!
J -
Tickets for the SS concert are sold out in DC. What a shame. You and Drew would have had a fabulous time. We’ll still have to meet up for drinks and party after the concert is over
Ohh… don’t I deserve a shout out for introducing you to “my girls”? Yeah… I’ll just give one to myself!
- J
Yes and hear ALL about how great the concert was… I’m jealous!!