Ok. July. Go.

July was a rough month. Early in the month, after the whole strep-throat-emergency-room debacle in May/June, I decided to put all my insurance to the test and actually get a doctor and dentist. I asked my friends, got some referrals, and made my appointments.

Per usual, the dentist said my teeth were fine. Great, in fact. But of course, there was the wisdom teeth issue. You see, every time I go to a different dentist I get a different story. One says they are fine. The next says they’re not. The next - fine. The next - yikes! Well, I’ve decided it’s all crap and I’ll have them out when and only when I absolutely need to. I hate the idea of unnecessary surgery.

Which brings me to my doctor’s appointment. Because I hadn’t been to a doctor in a very, very long time (hey, insurance in grad school is expensive!) I needed a full physical. As part of any new physical, my new doctor (whom I love) does a complete battery of tests - from tests on liver function to STDs like Syphilis and HIV to an EKG.

Now, since my mother was a nurse while I was growing up, I’ve never been afraid of going to the doctor and/or having tests done. If I am completely comfortable getting naked in a hot tub with 5 other people - why would I feel awkward about turning my head and coughing? However, there is a difference between going to the doctors and getting tests done and waiting DAYS and DAYS to get those test results back. Especially when you know you are going to be on vacation when the doctor calls with the results…

In any event, I had my tests done and asked my doctor to check out a mole on my chest I had noticed was getting darker and bigger year after year. He looked at it with a magnifying glass and said the words I really didn’t want to hear…”yeah that should probably come off…”

Ugh. Like I said, I hate unnecessary surgery. But if removing this mole meant removing and/or preventing the big “C”, I couldn’t really say no. I scheduled the appointment.

Just so we are on the same page here, the first week of July put me in the frame of mind of 1) knowing I would have to get test results back during my vacation in the second week of July and 2) knowing I would be having surgery in the third week of July - after I got back from my vacation - to remove what might be a cancerous mole. Fun, right?

Then, right before I left for PTown I had a huge blowout with someone I had been hanging out with/kinda-sorta dating for over a month. Someone with whom I thought a relationship might have been possible. He was much of the inspiration for this post. Now, the post wasn’t about ANYONE in particular, but our situation got me thinking (which as we all know is dangerous…).

It all came to a head as I was packing for my trip. I was a little tipsy from going out for a few drinks with my friend Eric (with whom I raved about my prospective manlove) and a LOT aggravated by stopping at Mr. Potential Manlove’s house on the way home and feeling like I was bitch-slapped by reality. Long story short - while he was everything I find attractive in the right guy for me, he wasn’t the right guy for me. I ended up saying some harsh things to him that night along that vein and after apologizing profusely - in every way I know how - he still refuses to talk to me. It still makes me sad to think about it. He is a nice guy and I shared some great times with him.

So, yes, PTown was a blast and just what I needed to clear my palate after losing a potential manlove.

O - M - G can I just begin to tell you all how much I missed Provincetown. I was looking forward to this trip all summer long. It was Shauna’s birthday during the trip, which gave us the best reason to celebrate every night we were there!

On day 1 of our trip, right as I walked in the hotel room, I got a call from my doctor. It was my test results. Not only was everything ok…everything was GREAT. Everything from my HIV test to my cholesterol to my heart rhythm was spot on. It was great news to start off a great vacation.

During the trip the weather was amazing EVERY day. No too hot, not too cool. Perfect. We got to the beach multiple times during the trip and we all got wicked tans. Even Shauna - whose default tan color is eggshell - got dark. And that girl is white!

And while this trip didn’t mark the first time I have even nude sunbathed, it marked the first time I nude sunbathed around someone I wasn’t dating!

I’m telling you, there is nothing like feeling the sun on every part of your body. Feeling the wind touch places it normally never does. It’s niiiiiice. I ended up getting very comfortable with my nakedness during this trip and, to be honest, can’t wait to get back to the beach so I can lay out again! haha

Beyond me laying around naked on the beach, we also kayaked out to the point like we did last trip, got acquainted with a “wreck” - one besides Drew - and got to watch some guy fly this awesome kite that pretty much lifted him off the ground until he was almost flying. I wanted one (still do, actually!).

We also drank - a lot. And ate - a lot. Drew kept asking for ice cream and french fries (or at least that is how I care to remember it) so we obliged him often.

For Shauna’s birthday night she decided she wanted to go to The Mews, one of the best - if not THE best - restaurant in PTown. As Drew, Shauna, and I exclaimed after our deserts came - it was one of the best meals we’ve ever had.

Seeing as they have 232 vodkas from 27 countries, we all had to experiment with different martinis. And each one was so flippin’ delicious.

After dinner we headed on down to the Art House, where we had VIP tickets to Miss Richfield 1981’s newest show. Let me just say first and foremost, I love Miss Richfield. Since I knew Miss Richfield from working in PTown last summer, I made sure to drop the Shauna birthday bomb when I saw her before the show. I knew what was about to come. I sat back with my drink and got ready for it…

Ten minutes into the show, Miss Richfield comes down to grab some “volunteers” for the audience participation part of her show. Oh Shauna… HAHA. She got Shauna, some big lesbian named Chris, and some straight guy in a tank top up on stage.

Funny side note - Shauna said that once she got up on stage and sat on the couch, the big lesbian named Chris leaned over and whispered in her ear, “I’m scared.” Shauna replied, “me too.” She says she was joking, but in reality I know she really was scared. HAHAHA!!

Here is the best video from Shauna’s guest performance. And if I don’t make note that the moo-moo dress she was forced to wear makes her look 10x bigger than she actually is, she may kill me:

It was an amazing, amazing trip. I got to reconnect with one of my favorite places on earth and with two people that I love dearly. I met some really cute people and have some damn great sex!

Then I had to come home.

And I had to face getting sliced.

So I got sliced. THREE STITCHES later, I waited two weeks to find out I didn’t have cancer. I mean, maybe eventually it could have turned into cancer. For now, it was just a part of me that got cut up and put into a jar. *sigh*

For fear I would end up getting a huge ass scar, I prevented myself from pretty much moving for the rest of July. I haven’t gone to the gym once since the procedure. Today as I write this, I truly do feel like a fat cow. HA.

The rest of my July was filled with happy hours, dinner with friends, and work, work, work. Lots of work.

Now that it is August, and my scar looks like it will be minimal, I need to get back on the horse. That, my friends, will be the next chapter!